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Graybird

Graybird Variant names:
Greybird, Geezerbird, Drab-colored Dullbird, Two-toed Drab-colored Dullbird, Western Two-toed Drab-colored Dullbird

Scientific name:
Iamb spartacus

Distinguishing characteristics:
Light black feathers; exhibits a noticable inferiority complex when in the company of more colorful birds; arthritic joints; forgetfulness.

Song:
Bleat, bleat

Fun facts:

  • Alfred Hitchcock used Graybirds, spray-painted black, in the filming of his classic avian documentary "The Birds." He used them because of their willingness to work long hours at below-market rates, and because he'd always been a big fan of Al Jolson's work.

  • In the story "The curious case of the phlegmatic tailor," Sherlock Holmes deduces, from the presence of a single Graybird feather stuck to the instep of Dr. Watson's right shoe, that Watson has spent the afternoon "playing whist" (wink, wink) with the wife of a patient, investing 14 pounds sixpence with the East Indian Spices, Curry, and Leather Pantaloon Import Company, and beating a street urchin with a stick.

  • Many uninformed people confuse Pigeons with Graybirds. Pigeons, however, are not birds at all. Pigeons are feathered flying rats.
 

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