Oingebird, Varicose-veined Picklebill
Orange feathers, orange feet, reddish-yellow tail; small scar above right
knee; often with tattoos and/or pierced ears.
Auld lang syne
Sir Isaac Newton slaughtered thousands of Orangebirds in the course of his
alchemical attempts to turn base metals into gold. In various experiements,
Sir Isaac mixed the livers, the urine, and the feathers of Orangebirds in
differing concentrations with metals and other substances in his tireless
attempts. Some scholars speculate that the story of an apple falling on
Newton's head is apocryphal, and that the true source of his inspiration was
his constant battle with vindictive, dive-bombing, diarrheal Orangebirds.
In what may have been a conscious homage to Newton, Albert Einstein kept an
Orangebird called "Ike" as a pet. The sight of Einstein riding his
bicycle in circles with the bird perched on his shoulder was a common one in
the Princeton of the late 40s and early 50s. Reportedly, Einstein taught the
bird to imitate the violin, and the sound of the two of them scratching out a
mournful tune late into the night was not an unusual one.