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Thank God, the Second Amendment and the Bushmaster Corporation for the AR-15

If you have trouble with words and concepts like “hyperbole” and “sarcasm,” you should probably skip directly to the footnotes. Whether you do or not, do not misunderstand my position. I do not wish to take guns away from hunters, and despite my belief (based on solid evidence) that is foolish to keep guns for self-protection, I do not wish to restrict access to all guns. It is the availability of military-style assault weapons I condemn.

AR-15 assault rifleOnce again, a tragedy in one of our schools has hysterical folks all across the country questioning our God-given[1], Constitutionally-guaranteed right to arm ourselves with assault rifles. James Madison must be rolling over in his grave (and he’s probably reaching for a rocket launcher).

What part of article four to the second amendment to our Constitution do these loonies not understand?

Second Amendment, article four
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Nowhere in that sentence do I see anything limiting this right to hunting rifles or shotguns. In fact, there is no reference to guns at all. Arms are what we are guaranteed. If I want a surface-to-air missile mounted in the back of my pickup truck, then by God that socialist Muslim-loving Kenyan who occupies our White House had better show me where in the Constitution he has the right to tell me I can’t.

The God-fearing founders of this country[2] knew what they were doing when they wrote and passed this amendment. The pansy, godless communists who want to take away our assault weapons and 30-round clips[3] like to point out that our forefathers knew only muzzle-loaded rifles and bulky single-shot pistols. What of it? If assault weapons and strategic nuclear weapons had existed in 1776, they would surely have been more specific. They would have been very clear that they meant all armaments, not just the limited guns that so-called reasonable people agree on.

In fact, if our founders had perfect knowledge of the future they would have added language to keep liberal, America-hating activists from modifying many of the bedrock principles that created this great nation. Just imagine how much stronger we would be as a nation if our original Constitution and Bill of Rights had not been perverted by the same sort of people who want to take away our right to own and carry assault rifles and tactical nuclear weapons:

AR-15 assault rifle• Blacks would not be allowed to vote. No Obama!

• Women would not be allowed to vote. No Hillary Clinton!

• Illegal immigration would not exist. Jobs we don’t want to do and/or for which employers do not want to pay a fair wage would be filled by slaves—as our forefathers and God meant them to be.[4]

• God would still be welcome in our schools (as long as all that “separation of church and state” language had been largely ignored as our founders intended it to be). It is obvious that His feelings are hurt, and He refuses to lift a divine finger to protect our children.[5] And who can blame Him?


If it weren’t for pious, freedom-loving people like the Bushmaster Corporation[6] we would really be in trouble as a nation. Since God has washed his hands of our public school system, it is up to us protect our children. What better way to do so than to arm our teachers?[7] Imagine how the incident in Connecticut might have gone down if the crazy, suicidal gunman wasn’t the only person in the school armed with a Bushmaster AR-15 assault rifle. If teachers and administrators—and perhaps some of the more responsible white Christian students—had been toting AR-15s of their own, how different the result may have been.

The workers at Bushmaster must be very proud. It was their military-style assault weapon used in the Colorado movie theater, the Oregon mall, and the Connecticut school shooting. It’s been a heckuva year![8] Still, they must be frustrated that movie patrons, shoppers and teachers were not similarly equipped, and that we were cheated out of the spectacle of a series of fair fights.

The bumper sticker on my Hummer is a classic and says it best: “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.”[9]


  1. An influential segment of conservative Christianity in this country believe that gun ownership is an obligation to God. This from followers of the Galilean who urged his disciples to “turn the other cheek” and is worshiped as the “Prince of Peace.” Perhaps they take their inspiration from his father Yahweh, a bloody, bloody god who on many occasions urged his chosen people to slaughter great numbers of men, women and children with swords (Judges 19-21 is one example of Yahweh-sanctioned mass murder and rape). Clearly, assault rifles would be his weapon of choice today. [^]
  2. God-fearing they were, to be sure. Few if any of them, though, would have come close to agreeing with the precepts of today’s religious right or with its obsessive attempts to erode the constitutional principle of the separation of church and state. The pious “Father of the Constitution,” James Madison, was an especially ardent defender of that separation. That darling of Glenn Beck and the Tea Partiers, Thomas Paine, was a deist who publicly ridiculed Christianity. Thomas Jefferson produced his own abridged version of the New Testament and held views that, were he to express them today, would make him as hated by the paranoid religious right as President Obama is. [^]
  3. National Rifle Association (NRA) members surveyed earlier this year (prior to the Colorado, Oregon and Connecticut events) actually favor tighter restrictions on gun ownership. The organization itself does not. The NRA is one of the most effective and biggest-spending lobbyists in the world, contributing millions of dollars every year to members of Congress. According to OpenSecrets.org, PACs contribute 27 times more than do individuals to the organization. Secrecy inherent in the design of PACs keep us from knowing the exact amount of contributions from gun manufacturers, but it is safe to say that it is a bundle. [^]
  4. For a discussion of the Bible’s views on slavery, see Wikipedia. [^]
  5. What other conclusion can we be expected to draw from the message on the T-shirt pictured above? This particular photo has drawn tens of thousands of “likes” on Facebook. [^]
  6. PistolRemember that corporations are people. The Bushmaster Corporation is a person who proudly manufactures these AR-15 assault rifles in Connecticut’s neighboring state of Maine. Bushmaster also manufactures one of the pistols the Sandy Hook shooter used. I don’t know if it is the one pictured here, but this is a pistol manufactured and sold by Bushmaster. Yes, they call this a pistol.[^]
  7. Proposals and/or bills have been discussed in several states, including at least Oregon, Tennessee and Virginia. [^]
  8. Cabela's ad for AR-15Does anyone doubt that the publicity surrounding these shootings will only increase sales of this rifle? Some percentage of the buyers will believe they can be a hero in a future situation like the one in Connecticut. Some percentage of the buyers will plan to carry out their own massacre. Either way, get yours before demand causes prices to rise. They are available online from merchants like Cabela’s for about the cost of my binoculars. For some reason (click on image) they are temporarily unavailable in Connecticut. [^]
  9. People like the Bushmaster Corporation?    Yes, people pull triggers. Yes, Timothy McVeigh used a U-Haul truck to kill hundreds. That happened once. Since Columbine in 1999 there have been at least 31 mass shootings similar to Sandy Hook in the U.S. I am not calling for a ban on fertilizer or U-Haul trucks. Like hunting rifles, they do have a legitimate purpose. Semi-automatic assault weapons that hold 30-round clips and can be readily modified to be fully-automatic and to be easily concealed, do not have a legitimate purpose in our society. [^]

Second amendment scorecard

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