← Older   Newer → Browsing Fabricated Nonsense

Top 10 Reasons People Don’t Like Your Facebook Posts


Meh button for FacebookI saw this headline the other day: Top 10 Reasons People Don’t Like Your Facebook Posts. I didn’t click on the link because I’m pretty sure I know how it reads. Something like this, I’d imagine …

10. While your love of the music of Duran Duran is interesting on many levels, no one really wants to watch the video for “Hungry like the Wolf” again.

9. Your Target Field self-portrait was photo-bombed by an overweight guy wearing a “wife-beater” T-shirt decorated by the accumulated mustard and pickle relish of a three-game series.[1]

8. Your daily “check-ins” at Burger King, Kmart and Superamerica no longer impress us.

7. That you achieved level 317 in “Candy Crunch Saga” should really be between you and other candy crunchers. Your score of 10 points for the opening play of “SATIRE” in Scrabble (you used a blank) should have been kept to yourself.

6. Three grammatical errors and four misspellings in a two-sentence post tend to dull the edge of its keen political commentary.

Barnacle Geese. Sibelius Park in Helsinki, Finland5. Photos of crows, pigeons and geese are the best you can offer from your 12-day European vacation?

4. We don’t care that LBJ would have posted a photo of the scar from his appendix removal if he were alive today. Photos of your liposuction scars should never have hit Facebook during the dinner hour.[2]

3. Including a recipe along with that photo of a plate macaroni and cheese and a slice of Spam seems unnecessary.

2. The Gertrude Stein quote about Oakland you used, “Their is no They’re there,” seems off somehow.

1. Your cat tends more towards “mangy” than “cute.”

Notes

  1. LBJ scarBut is that really pickle relish? And in these cell phone self-portraits, it would help if your arm were longer. [^]
  2. Some of you youngsters are too young to remember this. So am I, for that matter. [^]

← Older   Newer → browsing Fabricated Nonsense