Mar 2, 2020

Retirement Rhyme Time

For Wolfie B, Steve P, Gina B, Lorrie B, Robyn R and others who have recently joined me in retirement; and for Jeff T and Michael S, who are eagerly counting the days until their own.

N★S★F★W
I do not like the morning
Perhaps I am a jerk
But here’s my little warning
I’m just not safe for work

Monday’s crazy traffic
Can really, really irk
I might do something drastic
I’m so not safe for work

Then seated in a small cube
A lowly, grinding clerk
Sad, pencil-pushing rube
Me? Just not safe for work

A water cooler convo?
With friends a chance to lurk
Recapping last night’s late show
I’m just not safe for work

A raucous office party,
Where shy accountants twerk
A boss all hale and hearty
I’m still not safe for work

Paychecks can be great fun
A happy monthly perk
Of course I wouldn’t mind one
Poor me, not safe for work.

I would enjoy a Mai tai
Beached in Maui or Dunkirk
(Those Nazis have gone bye-bye)
I am not safe for work

I understand it sounds bad
My tendency to shirk
And now you think I’m mad
’Cause I’m not safe for work

But really, do not fear
I will not go berzerk
Get this straight, let’s be clear
I’m just not safe for work

I do not own an AK
Or pointy metal dirk
I’m not a threat in that way
But still not safe for work

Okay, okay, you’re right
I’m not too blind to see
I’ll shed a little light
The work’s not safe for me!

—— Docster Zeus

Theodor Seuss Geisel - photo from Wikipedia. As a happy coincidence, the day I posted this was the 116th anniversary of the birth of Theodor Geisel. Docster Zeus is a big fan!