Randy’s Guide to Birds
Brownbird
Varieties:
Brown-headed Brownbird, Brown-rumped Brownbird, Brown-winged Brownbird, Brown-thighed Brownbird, Brown-nosed Sycophant
Scientific name:
Terran Rusticus
Field marks:
Brownish feathers; even uglier than Graybird; poop tastes like chicken.
Song:
Phhht, phht
Fun facts:
- Large, scary Brownbirds are sometimes called “owls.” These owls are often portrayed as wise, intelligent birds. This is not true, of course. Many have problems with the most basic math problems, few read above a third-grade level, and one particularly dense Brownbird tested with an IQ lower than the mean IQ of the 114th United States Congress.
- The slangy euphemisms “to make a Brownbird” and “stinks like a Brownbird” are seldom used in polite conversation.
