Randy’s Guide to Birds
Greenbird
Varieties:
Booger Bird, Audubon’s Picklebill, Bachman’s Greenish Thrush, Avacodo-eating Whitebird, Callipygian Honeytail
Scientific name:
Chilicus con verde
Field marks:
Green feathers; smaller than a breadbox; envious; often defecates green poop.
Song:
Louie, lou-EEE, louie, lou-EYE
Fun facts:
- Many biologists believe most modern Greenbirds share a common ancestor with alligators and crocodiles. A minority of biologists believe Greenbirds to be descended from a small group of Whitebirds that developed an inordinate fondness for the avacado (hence the green poop).
- Seven to ten percent of American males cannot distinguish Greenbirds from Redbirds. However, a much larger percentage report they “just don’t give a rip” about distinguishing Redbirds from Greenbirds since most States do not allow them to be hunted. (Hawaii allows shotguns to be used against both species; Texas and Arkansas allow bow hunting only.)
