Crossword #24: Roadside Attractions?
A humble apology
This new puzzle is an apology for my well-conceived but ill-birthed 3x3 puzzle, World’s Smallest!, published February 20th of this year. Who knew six three-letter answers could be so difficult to come by for, um, just about anyone outside of my head?
I do know some who knew: those who are frequently confronted by my uncomprehending sputtering frustration at their inability to understand what I am saying with my uncooperative tongue. “What? You can’t tell what my ’glorkfp aiiely khwudfrekj’ means,” I think, “not even in the context of what was running through my mind?! Do you even know me?”[1]
Yeah, I suppose clues like “Eggs out of water” and “The other half"—devoid of context and without access to what’s left of the wet, gray gelatinous substance that fills much of the void between my ears—are probably unfair.
I am truly sorry for that puzzle. Today, I present a traditionally-sized puzzle that has been vetted by three people who, I assure you, are 1) sane, and 2) not people who live imaginary lives inside of my head.[2] One opines that this puzzle is “Tuesday, 11AM” in difficulty. For what it’s worth, I really believe you will enjoy it. But only if you try it.
| Download the puzzle |
| PDF copy to print |
| Puzzle file for AcrossLite |
| Solve online at XwordInfo.com |
The solution to this puzzle was published on Thursday, April 23, on the 457th anniversary of Shakespeare’s birth[3] and the 28th anniversary of a sad occasion—the passing of the father-in-law I was never privileged to meet.
| DATE | TITLE |
| 04/24/2020 | #k1: Meadow’s First! |
| 04/20/2020 | #24: Roadside Attractions? |
| 02/20/2020 | #23: World’s Smallest! |
| 06/20/2018 | #22: Northern Dialect |
| 01/30/2018 | #21: Special Editions |
| 10/10/2017 | #20: Saints We’d Like to See |
—
Notes
- Case in point: A new player for the Timberwolves this season, Juancho Hernangomez, began hot as a pistol from the three-point line. He was raining threes! So in a crowded arena as the crowd roared after another made three from Juancho, with one daughter and son-in-law sitting on the other side of Joann from me, I tried desperately to quip, “JUAN-cho three? GOT-cho three!” I suppose I sounded a lot like an adult speaking in a Charlie Brown special, only not as loud OR as clear. I could not BELIEVE they failed to understand me. [^]
- The people (loosely defined) who do live in my head are Sir John Falstaff, J.S. Bach, Cap’n Cuttle, Dorothy Parker, Bullwinkle the Moose, Regina Spektor, and some guy named “Steve” who is behind in his rent. [^]
- April 23 is traditionally given as Shakespeare’s birthday. The truth is that we don’t know. He was baptized on April 26, 1564 and it is usually presumed that he was born three days prior. But his birth certificate, passport, and driver’s licenses have all gone missing. Zounds! We do know that he died on April 23, 1616—possibly from having eaten too much birthday cake. [^]
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