Randy’s Guide to Birds
Bluebird
Varieties:
Blue Jaywalker, Azure Rumpscratcher, Leadbelly Howler, Audubon’s Inkdipper, Light-blue Sky-crapper, Presidential Bunting
Scientific name:
Birdicus azurus
Field marks:
Blue feathers; bad breath and generally poor hygiene; a depressed, sad demeanor; a marked tendency to use foul fowl language (see song).
Song:
Bleeping bleepity bleep bleep
Fun facts:
- Most bluebirds aren’t really blue. Just take our word for this.
- There are so many Bluebirds in the world of such a dizzying variety of shapes and sizes, that it is thought Noah may have mistakenly taken seven times seventy Bluebirds and their mates aboard the ark instead of the seven that was commanded.
- Bluebirds are excellent mimics. A Cornell University ornithologist documented the case of a Bluebird that did spot-on impersonations of Howard Cosell, Richard Nixon, and Groucho Marx. The bird’s Marx impersonation was flawed, however, as it often confused Groucho with Karl Marx, making nonsensical references to economic theory and the “disenfranchisement of the proletariat.”
