Randy’s Guide to Birds
Redbird
Varieties:
Midwestern (St Louis) Cardinal, Southwestern (Arizona) Cardinal, Pacific (Stanford) Cardinal, European (Vatican) Cardinal, Vermillion-scarlet Redshanks
Scientific name:
Pontificum candidatae
Field marks:
Red feathers; a superior attitude; jealous behavior.
Song:
I’m pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty; lookat-MEE, lookat-MEEEE
Fun facts:
- Opie shoots a Redbird in an early episode of The Andy Griffith show. When Sheriff Taylor discovers the dead bird behind the house, Opie claims Barney shot it. Aunt Bea corroborates Opie’s story and threatens to whup Barney’s butt if he doesn’t take the fall. Andy never allows Barney to carry a loaded pistol again, and Aunt Bea adds the Redbird to the stew she is preparing for dinner.
- Some Redbirds feature prominent crests. Others prefer hats, often baseball-style caps worn backwards.
- PETA (fabled fraternity of faux-fur-wearing friends of furry and feathered fauna) are preparing a class-action lawsuit on behalf of Redbirds, whose alternate territorial song, they claim, was stolen by the band suing Led Zeppelin for, they claim, stealing the introduction to “Stairway to Heaven” from them.
